When a person looks at what hurt or who hurt them in the past from a different perspective, it should not excuse those things or people of their wrongdoings. Instead, this new outlook can help lead others to forgive and heal from past traumas. An example of this can be found in “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden and “My Father’s House” by Bruce Springsteen, as both works of literature deal with sons gaining new perspectives on their fathers who have hurt them in the past.

This experience of looking at a person’s past through a more mature lens can be recorded in many ways. Whether it is through talking it out with a therapist or writing about it, change and healing can begin when a person chooses to reevaluate what they have thought to be true, and express the experience. Set on the symbolic day of rest for many cultures, Hayden’s poem describes this by opening with a stanza depicting his father still providing for him on that day:

Sundays too my father got up early

and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,

then with cracked hands that ached

from labor in the weekday weather made

banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him. (lines 1-5)

This presents a startling contrast to what one would usually do on a Sunday and symbolizes how Hayden reevaluates his father due to the lines being past tense. He sees him now as a person who would make sure his son was taken care of no matter how he felt. Hayden also shows how this was an action he did not appreciate before when he states, “…No one ever thanked him.” (5). With this line also being in past tense, the reader can further see that Hayden has gained a new perspective on his father. Before, Hayden did not notice the things his father did for him but now, he sees it and can slowly filter in his father’s kind moments that he never truly noticed before.

Similarly, Springsteen’s song expresses a son looking back onto his past as well. First, Springsteen establishes that he embodies the role of a son as he sings about a symbolic dream he had in regard to his father. In the dream, he was running towards his father’s house and though being bruised and hurt, he continued, as the home stood brightly and welcoming towards him (Springsteen 0:09-1:48). Springsteen’s father’s home symbolizes his father and his relationship with him: A relationship filled with bruises and hopeful determination because the home shined brightly despite the dark shadows. Additionally, it is shown he is looking back in retrospect throughout the song, similarly to Hayden in his poem, when he uses past tense in the lines, “Last night I dreamed that I was a child” (0:09) and “I awoke… and to that house I did ride” (2:18-2:47). As Springsteen describes the journey to his father’s house, as a treacherous but hopeful journey with pain and bruising, he is alluding to the way he now describes his father and his relationship with him after looking back on it. Through the contrasting words and phrases, he continues to notice both the good and bad aspects of him.

This is like Hayden’s poem as he notes his father’s bad attributes along with his good ones and does not completely disregard his father’s wrongdoings. Instead, Hayden states in the second stanza that after his father made sure the house was warm, he would be called and would be afraid of his anger (7-9). These lines perfectly express the fact that the son, Hayden, had never forgotten the bad parts of his childhood however, looking back, he learns to acknowledge the man who struggled to provide for him. Even in the second stanza which used words that have bad connotations such as “chronic angers” (9) and “fearing” (8), Hayden lists that his father still made sure the room was warm for him. Now, whether knowingly or not, Hayden has realized something after looking back on the memory. He can now see that his father had still tried to provide for him, despite his faults.

Just like Hayden, Springsteen further expands upon seeing the positive and negative aspects of his father in retrospect by using contrasting words to describe him in his lyrics. Utilizing his father’s house as symbolism for his father again, an example of this can be seen in the lyrics “…shining hard and bright” (Springsteen 1:43-1:48). Typically, when a person would describe something which shines, the word “hard” would not be used. Springsteen uses the word to express the contrast between his emotions towards his father and his father’s house, a place of hope and hardship. Additionally, after using contrasting words to describe the complex feelings Springsteen has for his father, he explores his regret and effort to heal. This is seen when he first writes, “I awoke and I imagined the hard things that pulled us apart / Will never again, sir, tear us from each other’s hearts” (2:18-2:38). This statement describes the fact that Springsteen had gone through a lot with his father. However, when looking upon it in retrospect, he has decided to forgive; he has resolved to heal. This new mindset is further expressed by the fact that he goes out and makes his dream a reality when he starts running towards his father’s house in real life (2:39-3:07). Springsteen now learns to forgive his father after gaining a new perspective on him from looking back at his past told through symbolism of a dream and a journey.

This narrative of forgiveness is seen, a bit quieter, in the final stanza of Hayden’s poem where he surveys the events of those Sundays in retrospect. Continuing the sentence from the previous stanza where he had gone down to see his father, Hayden expresses a subtle regret. This regret is seen when he states that he did not know any better when he spoke indifferently to his father despite the actions his father had taken to supply for him (7-14). This describes Hayden’s newfound perspective on his father through these words; a perspective which expresses that even though his father had shown his anger towards him and hurt him in the past, he was a man who tried his best to provide and deserved some kind of respect. Hayden never excused his father of his wrongdoings however, he learned to acknowledge him by looking at the whole experience with a mature lens. He now looks at it differently than how he might have perceived the events as a child. Although not explicit, through looking back on his experience with his father in this poem, Hayden silently forgives him. If Hayden truly hated his father, he would not have written about his experiences with his father in both a positive and negative light. Instead, he has a newfound respect for the man who raised and provided for him just like Springsteen did.

Finding a new perspective on things can help a person heal from their past trauma. The road to that healing is not a smooth one however, even if a person takes one step down the path, they would have still progressed from the place they were before. Both Hayden and Springsteen walk down that path of healing through looking at their past through a new lens in their writings. They describe this path through illustrious poetry which depicts pain and newfound respect. Through lyrics that sing of regrets and longing. Through the words of two healing sons.